When I made my list of errands for last weekend, I headed the rundown with the punctuated must: GET DAD FATHER?S DAY CARD!
I?ve learned the hard way about waiting until the day before and politely elbowing my way into the greeting card aisle, only to find a skimpy selection of elementary rhymed prose suited for a father from a daughter 35 years my junior. So, this year?I?m on IT!
I?ve got the card and the gift. That planning ahead also got me thinking: for father-absent homes, what?s the annual celebration to dear old dad feel like when he?s an imaginary figure a child longs to adore, love, and receive love from in return?
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million children in America?one out of three?live in biological father-absent homes. For children of color the statistics are even bleaker: nearly two in three (64 percent) African American children live in father-absent homes compared to one in four (25 percent) of white children. The National Fatherhood Initiative has compiled research to show that the ?absent-father factor? figures greatly in declines in a child?s overall well-being. Those children are more prone to live in poverty, be victims of child abuse, experiment with and suffer addiction from alcohol and substance abuse, deal with teen pregnancy, and even childhood obesity than kids in two-parent households.
Given that grim picture, I invited two men with track records in building paternal relationships and strengthening families to appear on Connections with Renee Shaw this weekend to talk about their efforts. We explore reasons why fathers are disconnected from their child(ren), which are sometimes more complex than failed reconciliations between intimate partners and a father?s resistance to ?man up.?
Ted Strader is executive director of an internationally recognized program in Jefferson County called COPES, the Council on Prevention and Education: Substances, Inc. For decades, Strader has been working to mitigate issues of those with histories of substance abuse and incarcerated fathers establishing re-entry into society and family structures. Ted?s program helps men understand the depth of a father?s commitment beyond a paycheck and the steps needed to rebuild trust in a family severed by poor past choices.
The same can be said for the Lexington program run by David Cozart of the Leadership Lexington Foundation Fatherhood Initiative.
?There are countless fathers and men with untapped or underutilized gifts and resources. This program seeks to restore, equip, and deploy fathers in families, congregations, and the community at large,? Cozart said.
His program works with men on developing and maintaining healthy marriages, responsible fatherhood, and employment training.
For those of us, myself included, who were spoiled by our fathers from birth to mid-life, I hope we count our blessings next weekend that we weren?t among those who?ve never had a pep talk from Dad when we needed it the most, had tears kissed away from falls and disappointments, and victory cheers spurring us on when his vision of our success was brighter than our own. And, for the men who think it?s too late to be the father they wanted or want to be, I hope this program provides inspiration to be the man your children deserve and desire.
Connections with Renee Shaw is on Fridays at 5pm CT on KET2 and Sundays at 1:30 p.m. CT on KET.
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